Cloud's Life
by CreationsAngel-VII
Summary: When Cloud woke up that morning, he didn't think that a certain ex-General would need a place to live, never mind that he was actually back and not trying to kill Cloud. But that's life, right? NON-Yaoi, sorry fangirls.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! I have yet another fanfic to show off. It's not so great, and I feel like the continuity is a bit weird, but hey, when in Rome? Anyways, just a little something that I might make into a multi-chap thing, but hey, just sorta a start for the moment. Anyways, read and review and annoy me to make another chapter if you want to see one.**

**Last Thing: I don't own Final Fantasy VII, but I do own a save file of it.**

Cloud, the man who had twice saved the world, was lost for words. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Sephiroth was standing in front of him. NOT DEAD. Or trying to kill him for that matter. That alone was enough to drive the blonde saviour's brain into convulsions, but the question that came next was the last straw for his poor, delicate brain.

"Cloud….I need somewhere to live."

In all honesty, he was pretty sure that he could be forgiven for fainting.

_It had started as an ordinary day for Cloud. He awoke at exactly dawn and took Fenrir for a burn around Edge, savouring the silence that was oh so rare at the Seventh Heaven. He chuckled. Really, even though the Remnant Fiasco had only been a month and a half ago, that he would settle into, well, __**NORMAL **__life. No monsters, no psychos obsessed over an alien, and no OP mommas boys. That last part was the best. He smirked lightly at that statement, before his brain registered the odd sensation of not moving, despite travelling at over a hundred and sixty kilometres per…._

'_Hello Cloud.'_

_And that's when he realised that, because his name was Cloud Strife, the planet would never, ever leave him alone._

_The blonde warrior knew better than to attempt to turn around, lest he end right back on his bike. 'Aerith? What's wrong? Is Sephiroth back?' he questioned urgently, fearing the worst, and cursing the planet for his horrendous luck. 'Stop cursing Cloud.' Aerith scolded, following with a quick blow to the back of the head. Cloud grumbled, but respectfully held his peace. Aerith giggled slightly, warm and melodious, making Clouds knees weak, and filling his stomach with rampaging Thunder birds._

'_Well mister impatient, yes, he is back, but not as the man who attempted to kill you, rather, he's back as the General you remember him as….' She began._

'_So you mean that, rather than an insane war god, he's a sane, aloof war god with the emotional capacity of a teaspoon?' Cloud questioned sarcastically, before adding 'well, great? Does he want a medal?'_

_The back of Aerith's hand once again met the back of Cloud Strife's head, and there was much rejoicing, well, not from Cloud. Cloud's protests were silenced by a look from the flower girl that promised eternal suffering by a pole dancing Hojo clad in spandex, before she continued._

'_Yes, he is the General you remember, and I need you to go and pick him up from the place you last saw him' 'You mean suspended above the top of the Shinra Building with black smoke pouring out of him? That's like, 20 minutes from here, and I really don't feel like…OW!'_

_Aerith mentally noted that her former bodyguard had a head as thick as Bahamut's hide. Drowning out his cursing, she finished giving her instructions to Cloud, before sending him on his way towards whatever fate the planet had decided for him._

And so, that's how Cloud Strife, saviour of the planet and former mercenary, found himself at the top of the former Shinra HQ, with the former General of said company, and his former nemesis, asking him if he could live with him.

'_Yep_' Cloud thought before he lost consciousness: '_My life sucks_'.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again all! Found some time to write between assignments again, and thus, **_**Cloud's Life**_** continues! A little more insight into Sephiroth this time around, but Cloud still gets his fair share of screen (page?) time too. This time, the plot makes an appearance, but not for long. Anyways, Read, Review and enjoy!**

**I do not own Final Fantasy VII, Cloud, Sephiroth, or related characters. If I did, the fights would have 900% less gravity though.**

Cloud awoke several hours later with a throbbing headache, and what he suspected to be a very bad case of sunburn. He looked around carefully, scanning his current environment for threats. '_North areas all clear, south areas no problem, east area looks good, and west is…is….is…_'

Cloud paused for a moment, taking in the sight of his arch nemesis sitting rather casually on a piece of debris that had come off the building proper (Cloud would later discover the irony; that this was one of the pieces of the Shinra building that Sephiroth launched at him during their last fight over a month ago). The two simply stared at each other, before Sephiroth asked "well?"

"Well what?" Cloud asked, acting rather brave, but feeling as though he were thoroughly screwed should Sephiroth attempt to attack. "Your response to my question from before you fainted" was the bland reply from the ever stoic Ex-General.

A moment of silence passed between the two SOLDIERS, as Cloud blushed 19 new shades of red, and Sephiroth began counting how long the blonde's brain would take to process the information, wondering if he had hit his head too hard when he fell. Cloud broke the now awkward silence first with a soft cough. Sephiroth raised a singular silver eyebrow in reply, daring Cloud to say something.

Silence reigned for another 5 minutes while Cloud attempted to articulate his response; and Sephiroth wondered more about why the blonde seemed unable to talk. '_Perhaps Zackary was right_' Sephiroth mused, watching as he shuffled from side to side. '_Perhaps he is related to a chocobo._'

Cloud took that moment to speak up, as if he had heard the chocobo statement. He glared at Sephiroth, before sighing and saying "Alright."

(This is a line break yo)

Sephiroth was stunned. Yes he had asked Cloud, but he did not expect the blonde trooper (in Sephiroth's mind anyway) to accept. He looked shell-shocked for another moment, somewhat mollified that Cloud seemed to be an exact mirror to his confusion.

"My thanks Cloud; I was not expecting such a favourable response." Sephiroth answered honestly. '_Really, Zackary should give the boy more credit_', he decided as he rose. '_Just as soon as I find Zackary_' Sephiroth wondered to himself.

"Zack's dead" Cloud deadpanned, causing Sephiroth to turn around in shock. Had he wondered out loud again, as he was wont to do sometimes? More to the point, Zack was dead? This in itself was troubling news, and thus, Sephiroth pushed on for more information.

"How did he die? We were all in Nebelheim as I last recall, and Genesis had appeared at the reactor, and, and…." Sephiroth stopped mid-sentence, his impeccable memory suddenly blanking.

(Another line break yo)

Cloud watched in something akin to pity as Sephiroth stopped mid-sentence, unable to grasp what had happened. He sighed. '_Note to self, when next arriving in the lifestream, hit Zack, HARD, and yell at Aerith._' Cloud shuffled his little mental note away for future reference, before walking over to Sephiroth. The older man looked at him, and Cloud knew that he had been right deciding to let Sephiroth stay. This wasn't the man who had burned Nebelheim in anger, taken his home, mother and killed Aerith. Cloud wanted to continue in this line of thought, but stopped himself. He could reflect on the past later, preferably wearing the joke slippers Yuffie had gotten him for his birthday (not that he'd ever admit to liking them), and eating a bucket of Vanilla ice-cream.

'_I knew you were a big softie Spike!_'

Yes, he was going to do all of that, and pull the voodoo doll he had made of Zack out from his trunk and poke it with pins in **all** the wrong places. But first, he had to console the man in front of him before he burst into tears.

"Hey Sephiroth, its ok" Cloud consoled, mentally kicking himself as he patted his shoulder awkwardly. Much to Clouds relief, Sephiroth soon stopped his mental conniption and looked at him.

Cloud smirked despite himself before helping the man to his feet. Cloud sighed again, and wondered how he was going to explain this to Tifa and the others.

'_Ehh, it couldn't go that badly, right?_'

Even as he thought it, he knew that he was going to die horribly and painfully. Or loose Fenrir privileges for a month. In fact, why Tifa treated Cloud was her boyfriend, the blonde wasn't quite sure. Yes, they had survived a lot together, but that didn't necessarily mean that they should date. She was like his mother…

(Yet another line break yo)

Sephiroth stood uncertainly, shaking off the remnants of his near psychological breakdown as he did so. He looked at Cloud again, and noted that he seemed to be off in his own little world again. He sighed in frustration, if the boy was going to be like this the entire time he lived with him, Sephiroth might just go insane and burn down a town.

'_Or something_' he added as an afterthought, just in time to see Cloud look over at him, seemingly done with his inner rant.

(Oh the line breaks yo)

Cloud, now finished his mental appraisal of his current choice of house mate, turned back to Sephiroth, before, turning his back to him, throwing his most Zack like look over his shoulder, and saying "Lets mosey" turning into the mid-morning breeze, causing his clothing and hair to flutter dramatically.

Then the laughter of the Silver General reached his ears, and chocked statements of "good Minerva Cloud, that was the worst command to move out I have ever heard. And I've heard thousands!" before laughter strangled all of Sephiroth's further attempts at coherent speech.

'_Oh yes_' Cloud thought bitterly '_My life sucks_' as the last vestiges of his dignity and pride were drowned out by the laughter of a now sane madman.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey all, sorry about not updating in forever, just had uni stuff going on, and life decided to catch up to me slightly. So here it is, Chapter 3. Oh, also, I would like to give a huge thanks to everyone that's reviewed and added Clouds Life. Really, you guys keep this story alive more than I do, and you keep me writing this, even when I should be studying.**

**Anyways, Enjoy the chapter, and if you would like to review, I wouldn't be opposed,.**

**I own nothing, it's all Squenix.**

The ride towards Edge was, in Cloud's opinion, the most horrible, ego reducing, confidence destroying experience he had ever had. For the most part, it was due to Sephiroth having lost all memory of his time as a madman, and thus losing his memory of being beaten by Cloud. Rather, he scoffed arrogantly at Cloud for saying that he could beat him.

"Cloud, where is Zack?"

That, and the constant questioning about his now dead best friend was rather grating on his newly restored sanity. It was like having a broken record play over and over again. And not even a good one, something like Barret singing Justin Beiber for hours on end. Cloud shivered at the thought, and by doing so, nearly sent Fenrir into a ditch along the wastes. This triggered Sephiroth mentioning to Cloud how amazing it was that someone that was not infused with Mako could control a bike such as this.

And so on.

Surprisingly, that wasn't even the worst of Clouds worries. With Sephiroth's continued criticisms running through one ear and out the other, came a thought more horrible than facing Jenova, every WEAPON and Hojo simultaneously. In fact, he was rather tempted to turn the bike around and head for Rocket Town to talk to Cid and Shera about what to do, rather than go through the most agonising, emotionally scarring, couch sleeping, soap-opera-esque course of action imaginable:

_What the Hel am I going to tell Tifa?_

(Line Breaks are back yo)

It was quiet as Cloud and Sephiroth rolled into Edge. Almost as if the planet was holding its breath for the coming conflict, one on a scale that the Planet had not, and would not see for millennia.

"Cloud, it's rather quiet. You said this place was populated. It is still a crime to lie to your commanding officer, you really shoul-"

Clouds backhand to Sephiroth's head was enough to silence the man. The blonde pulled Fenrir to a halt outside a ramshackle building sporting the neon sign '_7__th__ Heaven_'. Cloud gulped loudly, and motioned for Sephiroth to remain silent. The man complied, falling back into the familiar SOLDIER role, despite his lack of weapon. Cloud motioned for Sephiroth to wait in the hot, Midgarian sun, while he scouted the dangers ahead. He felt more than saw Sephiroth's nod, before taking a deep breath, and walking into the bar.

(Heh, and you thought that line breaks were outa style yo)

The creak of a door and footsteps alerted Tifa to his entrance. The blonde knew it. Knew it like Reno knew the dives of Edge, or how Yuffie mysteriously knew the content of Vincent's underwear draw.

Wait.

"! OH MINERVA, THE IMAGES! THE IMAGES!"

(Consecutive line breaks yo)

Sephiroth heard Cloud scream, and chuckled. Relaxing from his battle ready position, he surmised that one of three things could have happened. One; that Cloud had realised that then ninja brat and Vincent were an item, two; that the whinny barmaid was very interested in the large, gun-armed man, or that he had found that Zackary had come back with his annoyingly pink girlfriend and were currently doing the nasty on his kitchen bench.

Sephiroth smirked. What Cloud was unaware of, was that Sephiroth did indeed have his memory, and that, as before his…episode…it was as sharp as a photograph. He chuckled slightly. Of course he knew Zackary was dead, Zack and his girlfriend had revived him for Gaia's sake! And it was obvious to anyone not still recovering from severe mental trauma that the ninja and Valentine had been an…

He shuddered as he thought the word…Item, since well before the Northern Crater.

At this point, Sephiroth realised that it may not be apparent to Cloud, due to aforementioned recovery from severe mental trauma. A sheepish chuckle cured him of his guilt though.

"CLOUD STRIFE! HOW DARE YOU BRING THAT MAN INTO OUR HOME! NOT YOURS AND MINE, MINE AND BARRET'S MORON! YOU JUST LIVE HERE! YE I'M SEEING BARRET, I HAVE BEEN FOR ABOUT A YEAR AND A HALF! I'M YOUR FRIEND, WE MAY HAVE HAD MOMENTS BUT- OH YOU DID NOT JUST BACKSAS ME STRIFE! THAT'S IT! YOU ARE SO **DEAD!**"

That broke Sephiroth out of his musings rather quickly. Just in time, in fact, to dodge a flying Cloud Strife, who was at this point, no doubted cursing his life.

As the spectre of an angry woman leered in the background, Sephiroth allowed himself a small whimper, and prepared for the unholy wrath of one Tifa Lockheart.

(Reno is out. This is Tseng writing this line break. Yo, I suppose.)

Cloud awoke from his stupor just in time to see Sephiroth fly towards him as Tifa finished her Final Heaven limit break. Repressing a giggle of pure delight at his former arch nemesis being pummelled like him, he settled for an amused smirk as he pulled his head from one of the other buildings. Sephiroth was moments behind, spitting mortar and wood out of his mouth.

"Is she always like this?" the Ex-General asked. "Yep" was the reply that the former infantryman gave his old commanding officer.

A silver eyebrow was raised at this, before the blonde answered "well, only if she thinks I'm doing something stupid." The look was all the reply Cloud needed.

"I HEARED THAT STRIFE! YOU AND THE SHAMPOO MODEL ARE DEAD!"

Cloud looked at Sephiroth, Sephiroth looked at Cloud, and said, just as the shadow of wrath and destruction loomed over the both of them, and spoke simultaneously:

"Yep, our lives suck."

**And that's another instalment of Cloud's life done. Hope you guys enjoyed**

**CreationsAngel-VII**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello everyone! Terribly sorry about the late update! *chuckles* yeah, RL sorta caught up to me, and Uni slammed me with a few assignments. They're done now though, so YAY! More writing, hopefully. Anyways, Big thanks to Awen Sofer for their constant reviews! And thanks everyone else that reviewed all the chapters of Cloud's Life! **

**Anyways, I own nothing, and this chapter has repeated use of the words Ass-Hat. Disclaimer done.**

(Chapter Starts yo)

Lightning flashed against the dark sky, briefly illuminating the clouds, and, should one be looking, reflecting of the light mist that was developing. It was to this that Cloud awoke, head pounding and wondering what he did to deserve it THIS time.

A groan from beside him alerted him to the presence of his former arch-nemesis, quite possibly recovering from the horrible beating that Tifa gave the two of them. Cloud chuckled. Really, it was really too much. First, he's forced by a certain, ungrateful flower girl to look after his newly revived ass hat of a former general, whose amnesia, now that he thought about it, really didn't make a whole bundle of sense. In fact, when he got the opportunity, he was going to grill Aerith until he got his answers.

_Spikey, if you go near my girlfriend, I will personally sick Angeal on you._

On Second thought, a nice, polite chat about Sephiroth's current mental state seemed much more pleasant, and involved less maiming.

_Damn Straight._

"Shut up Zack, just shut up." Cloud sighed.

"Cloud."

If it weren't for the girlish scream and falling out his bed, the cool façade that Cloud put up might have worked. Maybe.

(Sorry 'bout the wait yo, but the line breaks are back)

Sephiroth loved messing with Cloud's head. He fought to keep himself from smirking as Cloud awoke. Really, the bond could take Masamune and keep going (he had the scars to prove it too.), but a single measly punch from his childhood friend put's him down for hours? Damn, the whiney one must be able to hit hard.

A pulse in his head caused him to groan, forcing him to concentrate on keeping his eyes closed and breathing even. Apparently, Cloud was fooled enough to believe he was sleeping, causing Sephiroth to wonder how he lost THRICE to him! If he were a lesser man, hey may feel irked. But he was Sephiroth, the Nightmare, ShinRa's Poster General! So instead, he just felt like messing with Cloudybo's head for a while. Just until he figured out that revival didn't mean that he lost his memories, and that he was only doing the whole "penance" deal to get another life.

That and Zack though it would be hilarious if Cloud was faced with a non-psychotic Sephiroth.

Conveniently, Cloud mentioned his now deceased best friend/ saviour, and Sephiroth knew it was the time to put "Operation: Make Cloud Wet Himself" into action.

"Cloud."

The high pitched scream and falling out of his bed (covered in Moogle print sheets, of all things) was totally worth it. To the point that Sephiroth burst out laughing at his caretakers expense.

(….Reno, is this necessary?)

Cloud rubbed his sore backside and grumbled. The Demon of Clouds butt continued to laugh hysterically, eventually breaking down into giggles and hiccups. Cloud sighed. And then broke out laughing at the sight before him.

Really, a giggling Sephiroth sitting on a bright pink bedspread (probably Tifa's, the woman had a fetish for pink that she REALLY didn't show) was too much for Clouds WTF factor.

And thus, the Planet's Saviour and The Nightmare sat giggling like schoolgirls.

Somewhere in the lifestream, Aerith facepalmed, and Angeal burst into riotous laughter.

(Sorry 'bout Rude, he ain't good with line breaks yo)

After a good twenty minutes of giggling, both men sighed, and began staring at each other. Neither blinked for what felt like ages.

"I know you have all your memories." Cloud said.

Sephiroth was shocked. He was so careful! Perhaps there WAS a reason the Goddess chose Cloud as her defender. "Well done Cloud, it seems that you've figured it out rather quickly." Sephiroth returned with a smirk.

He really didn't anticipate what happened next.

"YOU BASTARD!" Cloud screamed, and lunged at Sephiroth, who only just realised that Cloud had called his bluff, and that he gave himself away.

(Line break again yo)

Tifa was furious. It was 3am, and Cloud was yelling, and SOMEONE screamed like a girl again. (She assumed the Shampoo model, he seemed like the type.)

Leaping out of bed, she stormed up to the room she dumped the two idiots in. and was greeted by a sight that made her inner fangirl squeal in delight.

Cloud and Sephiroth, both still in the pyjamas that Vincent had dressed them in (he was such a dear, despite looking like a vampire), with Cloud attempting to strangle Sephiroth with the (HER) pink sheets.

"Cloud, what ARE you doing?" she asked sweetly.

Too sweetly.

(Holy &^%^%! I get a line break! SHERA, GET THE CELEBRATION TEA!)

Cloud froze. The shadow of death itself loomed behind him, and called his name, preparing him for a hell which no man (he didn't count Sephiroth) had previously experienced.

"Cloud, why are you choking Sephiroth?"

He felt his nemeses, now weird sorta friend thing's, back shoot ramrod straight beneath his foot. He knew that Seph also knew. A look passed between both men. And thus both men began the logical way to defend themselves verbally, the only way the two knew how.

"HE STARTED IT!" came the synchronised reply.

No-one ever accused them of being geniuses when it came to women.

The hellish, nightmarish vision known as Tifa Lockheart smiled sweetly, sealing the men's doom.

"Cloud, Ass hat, Barret is coming back with the kids at 10 in the morning. SO, you had better go back to bed, or my fist will re-acquaint itself with your faces. UNDERSTOOD?"

A small "meep" of fear from both men signalled their agreeance. She smiled again, this time more genuine than evil, and left the room with a casual 'goodnight' thrown over her shoulder.

The two men let out a heavy sigh before Cloud returned to his bed. Sephiroth extracted the sheet from around his neck and slipped beneath it, and the two said their goodnights.

And finally, all was silent.

"Hey Seph?" Cloud asked.

"Yeah" came the reply.

"Did you notice how Tifa looked like Genesis at 3 in the morning?" Cloud giggled.

"You mean curlers and the facial mask?" Sephiroth giggled back.

"Yep" Cloud replied. Both men giggled yet again, and fist bumped each other goodnight.

For once, Cloud began to drift off, not cursing his life.

Until he remembered that Barret was going to be here tomorrow. And that meant something that Cloud despised with all his heart, loathed more than Sephiroth and Hojo and Jenova combined.

It meant dealing with a lovesick Tifa, and very, VERY randy Barret.

"Yep, my life sucks" he whimpered, before sleep finally claimed him.

(Story done yo. Time to get a latte)

**Well guys, RnR is always appreciated, but hope you enjoyed yet another instalment of Cloud's Life. Also, the plot thickens slightly. WHAT NEW ADVENTURES WILL OUR PROTAGONISTS GET INTO? Review and send ideas, I'd like to know where you think I should go with this. Laters yo.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey all, sorry about the REALLY long break between chapters. This one has been a long time coming, and to be honest, I had trouble starting this chapter, and a host of other problems too. So again, sorry about the wait, and I'll try to update sooner. Anyways, it's finally here, in all its ridiculous glory (?), CHAPTER 5 OF CLOUD'S LIFE!**

Cloud awoke with a heavy sigh, squinting as the sunshine danced across his delicate blue retinas. He turned towards the wall of his room, desperate to put off the onset of the day. Sadly, the universe seemed to have other plans for our spiky haired protagonist, as the bane of his existence, and until recently (he supposed) arch nemesis, Sephiroth, decided to ruin his chances of getting back to sleep.

"Hey Cloud, Hey Cloud, Hey Cloud, Hey Cloud…"

For five minutes, Sephiroth called his name like an annoying older brother. For five minutes, Cloud attempted to block him out, until, tired of annoying Cloud and getting no response, Sephiroth moved to the window and looked out.

"Wow, I didn't think the large man would make an attempt at fornication with, Tifa? It is Tifa, correct? As soon as he arrived."

THAT statement caused Cloud to leap out from under the covers, and move to the window, shoving Sephiroth through a wall rather violently.

Sure enough, Barret had indeed arrived with the kids, and HAD been attempting to do things with Tifa, right there in the street!

Well, that was until they heard the crash of Sephiroth being unintentionally flung through a wall at 10am in the morning.

The two looked towards the second floor of the Seventh Heaven, causing Cloud to duck beneath the windowsill in an attempt to hide from what he could tell were two very annoyed, and now frustrated, lovers whose private moment he had inadvertently ruined. Unfortunately, his bright blonde hair stood like a beacon above the safety of his makeshift hideout.

"We can see you Spikey!" came the voice of an irate Barret.

"No you can't!" Cloud retorted.

"Maybe we can't see him Teef."

If it weren't for the Mako enhancements, Cloud wouldn't have heard the facepalm of one Tifa Lockheart.

"Barret, my love, that IS him. Under the windowsill. We CAN see him."

Cloud fought back a wave of giggles at Barrets expense. Really, he hadn't expected the man to believe him when he called back. He forced down yet another wave of giggles as he heard Barrets reply.

"Tifa says we can see you Spikey!" He sounded less sure this time.

"She LIES! I'm not here! Now go inside and get Denzel and Marlene away from the toaster."

When he heard both Barret AND Tifa move towards the door, Tifa muttering under her breath about how stupid men could be, and how she should have started dating Aerith before a certain silver haired Shampoo Model decided to use her back as an ornamental sword-stand, cloud burst into laughter.

"What's so funny, Cloud?" came that seductively smooth voice that erased any semblance of happiness that Cloud possessed.

The Planet's somewhat immature Saviour turned to face the owner of said voice, and did not like what he saw. Sephiroth's face was contorted into a smile that conveyed pure malevolence, cat-like pupils narrowed to mere slits, Ice 3 swirling around his right hand, the solid crystals of ice held in his palm.

"What are you going to do with that?" Cloud whispered in fear, mind already envisioning all the horrendous things that Sephiroth could do with the spell.

The smile on Sephiroth's face grew.

"This."

The sound of Cloud's girlish scream as ice was shoved down the back of his black tank top would permeate the lifestream for the next ten years, and causing Aerith, Zack, Angeal and the Goddess herself a massive headache, as well as scare the hell out of the new arrivals. As it was on Gaia, windows within a 3 kilometre radius would shatter, dogs would bark, car alarms would be set off, and Cloud and Sephiroth would be dragged downstairs by Tifa for a stern lecture.

(Line break yo)

The two men sat in front of Tifa as she began to chew them out, Cloud for shoving Sephiroth through their bedroom wall, and Sephiroth for shoving Ice 3 down Cloud's shirt.

"You should be ashamed of yourselves! You're both grown men, and yet you both act like children! I can't believe you Cloud! I thought you were past this!" Tifa scolded as she paced up and down between the two men. Sephiroth snickered at Clouds misfortune. Unfortunately, his snicker happened to catch the attention of Tifa, who immediately turned her attention to the former General.

"And YOU mister Shampoo Model! You have no right to snicker at him, you were just as immature! Shoving Ice down his shirt? Really? How old are you, five!" she screeched.

Barret and the kids watched from the sidelines, enjoying every minute of the two most powerful men on Gaia being scolded.

"Jeez! I can't believe we actually thought you were a threat! I mean, UGH!" Tifa growled. She turned away from the two, each giving the other a silent high five at the others prank. She turned back to the two abruptly, demonic smirk on her face. Both men gulped audibly.

"Alright then. If you two want to behave like kids, then you'll be treated like kids." Tifa began, her tone light and bubbly. The two men shared a look of confusion and terror, before Tifa continued with "Cloud, you are banned from riding Fenrir for a week so hand over your keys; and your Fusion Swords and materia are being placed in my room for a month."

"WHAT! That's so lame!" Cloud protested. A quick look from Tifa however, silenced all objections coming from the blonde.

"Sephiroth, Masamune is also being placed in my room, for one month, AND you are forbidden from watching TV for a week."

Tifa savoured the look of despair that graced the Generals features.

"And both of you can't have any desert for the next three days." Tifa finished, silently giving herself a mental high five for being so clever.

The despair at the final part of the punishment Tifa had lain down for them caused Sephiroth to burst into tears, while Cloud merely comforted the man, before something occurred to the blonde.

"Wait. We're grown men. You really can't punish us like this Tifa." He stated, feeling full of pride at realising this fundamental fact.

The glare from Tifa however, caused Cloud to retract his statement immediately. Tifa turned to Barret and the kids, smile firmly in place.

"Now, let's get ready for the wedding next week!" Tifa declared, happiness oozing from her voice. Denzel and Marlene shared a look, once at their role model and his rival and once at each other, shrugged, and ran off to join Tifa as she moved towards the living area.

Barret simply shook his head, smirking, before moving to join his fiancée.

Cloud and Sephiroth simply sat on their chairs, Sephiroth still bawling his eyes out. Cloud patted the man's back, and sighed another heavy sigh.

"Yep, my life sucks."

(Line break again yo.)

_Meanwhile, in the slightly noisier Lifestream…_

"_Yep, my life sucks."_

Zack and Aerith shared a glance. The silence between the two generated by said glance stretching on for a few moments, before Zack broke it, asking his girlfriend "That just happened, didn't it?"

"It did" was Aerith's only reply.

"Are they morons? Seriously?" Zack asked

"I don't know love, I don't know." Aerith replied.

The two simply reverted to silence after that, Clouds girlish scream echoing all round them.

**I want to say thank you firstly to Awen Sofer, who's reviews helped me write this chapter. Also, big thanks to 7****th**** Scale to for their reviews! And finally, thank you to everyone who faved this story, and everyone else watching it too. Anyways, RnR, and I promise the next Chapter won't take as much time to come out.**


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